After looking around a bit I found the answer!
In the checkout window, when asked for the url of your svn server, add your username to the url twice. so
svn+ssh://username@username@ip.address.of.server/location/of/svn/repositoryshould do the trick, apparently Netbeans only removes the first username@ from the url. I tested it and it does seem to work.

thanks a lot, this sure saved my day
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